Big hair

Posted October 3rd, 2008 by Jane

I want a new wig. The old one is 5 years tired. My hair won’t last the weekend..or even today.. as I can’t resist gently pulling it out, a certain sensual pleasure like squeezing a ripe spot. My hair is dropping in my tea and on the keyboard…not so traumatic 3rd time round…but sad, yes sad, and I took myself off to bed weeping yesterday.

I idle through the wig websites. There are pages and pages of wigs, even pages and pages of ’short wigs’ There’s the problem…they’re not short (3 inch hair..mine’s not been longer than 2…for years…) but they are big. Really big hair on the big and thick and styled and glossy it prompted a woman in an Essex wigshop I visited after primary diagnosis to exclaim ‘that’s better’ as she popped a Margaret Thatcher monstrosity on my pre treatment head.)

They don’t, won’t or can’t manufacture short, plain, fine, spikey (dykey) wigs that maintain my identity. Most wigs simply turn me into a transvestite on a Pride night out.

Hair loss is serious and sensitive business in breastcancerworld. You can get to attend special ‘Headstrong’ sessions run by Breast Cancer Care and learn how to wear bandanas and tie scarves (oblong better than square..and remember its a reef knot or it will slip and make you look like a cancer patient). Cherie Booth launched Headstrong..perhaps that explains her big hair.

There are pink bravery points to be won in breastcancerhairlossworld. A gold star for long as its with red lipstick, pink blusher and big hooped earrings. Commando with stray tufts, no eyebows, missing lashes and a pallid skin just shows sloppy grooming and a bad attitude. Silver stars for having fun with wigs, experimenting with party red, or flowing gold. Try to match a wig to your old hair and you get asked in a particular moral tone: Have you thought of a hat?

An hour later and I’ve orderd ‘Tia’ from Trendco. 160, Vat exempt (another cancer perk). Tia will need my present least its on 28 day return.